Today dad and I are going to Dave Purewal's office to sign papers. It's a long process of back and forth but it will eventually get done.
In the meantime, dad is having trepidation about moving to the retirement facility but I am being determined.
I am sympathetic but I am also relieved to be moving dad out. It's a full time job that my husband and I don't want to do. There is no reason why we need to do it either. My brothers don't have the same urge to look after dad. So why is it left to my husband and myself?
I am pretty burnt out as is my husband. I feel that it is time for us to enjoy our own lives. Our sons will both be independent soon. My dad will be in the retirement home only 7 minutes away from us. My handicapped sister is in her facility. So all things considered, I think it is best for all concerned that they are living their lives and we are living our lives.
Of course this doesn't mean that the work of care taking ends. There will be other jobs to be done associated with both Rebecca and my dad. But we will finally be able to go on holidays together. We can go visit my son in Calgary together. We can have our lives back. I feel happy about this. Life is short and my husband and myself are not guaranteed anything. I won't be robbed of our happy life.
Could we have taken care of dad inside our home? Maybe. But he is increasingly frail. Our house is not suitable for a person with frailty. We want to sell our house and move ourselves. So it's a matter of time only when we ourselves will need to downsize and move ourselves into an assisted living placement.
I don't want to do these transitions the way it's always been done with my extended family - as last minute chaotic moves. Nope. I want to do this intelligently and the first steps are getting my dad into his own placement. Then we downsize our own place. And we move into a new place which has very little stuff in it.
Transitions are always difficult and emotional. It's best to remove the emotions from it and proceed in a detached fashion.
Intelligent decisions are required. Make them while you still are healthy enough to make them.