Sunday, April 9, 2017

but I learned the atria and ventricles of being

I took my heart
which was the size
of a seed
and I planted
it in the good earth
I trusted that I would take care of it
and I worked the land
where it was placed

but for years the heart was left
in weedy soil and without rain
the withering sapling was stunted
I looked at the image in the mirror
and thought about ambition
that small ambition
to make a wave in a small sea
of course this never happened

I stayed at home and worked
with the family
the sapling grew slowly
and occasionally I went out
to stand beside it
I wondered how to grow a mighty soul
but I did not think of the heart
that was rotting from within

instead the mirror and the soul
were my company
I walked about in the company of fools
and dullards     thinking they were the ones
I should follow up the ladder of unsuccess
until one day  I simply stopped the enterprise
I watched my sons in their small egg shells
and wondered at my aging parents

surely there were better ways to live a life? I asked myself
I stood below the shade of the tree of my heart
in the desert of time and began again
I looked at the tree 
that was gently waving in the corner of my property
I thought hard about the ways to be in the world
I took my spade    and I began to work about the small tree
and I pruned the greedy branches of that heart to simplicity

I understood self discipline was necessary
for the tree to grow    and so I trained myself
I packed away the soul in the threadbare garments
of tomorrow       and I put the mind in the tin box of the present
so that I could concentrate on making the heart mighty
every day I worked about the land    where the heart was growing
the circumference was expanding
I won't say this work was easy     but I learned the atria and ventricles of being

you must choose
the high road or the low
and when you decide on the way
don't feel sad that you are no glorious thing
instead rejoice in the small tiny works of love
that you claim for yourself   trust that you are enough in this work
as are others in their high achievements  
I took my heart  and I planted     it in the good earth

Hands on a Grain of Sand - Amelia Curran

Armen Gasparian 1966 | Russian symbolist painter

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