Sunday, March 26, 2017

Public discourse is needed. We can't solve problems if we don't talk about them. Late at night I wonder why no one is talking about the problems families are facing throughout the continuing care system and the child welfare system. I wonder why the stakeholders are not part of government discourse. I wonder how any of these problems will be solved without the families present. I wonder why we--as citizens-- have become numb to the horrors. I wonder if we have all given up. Giving up is easy to do. It's doing the work day after day that is hard to do. It's doing the work decade after decade that is almost impossible to do. It's not quitting that is hardest.

Julie Ali feeling blessed.
5 mins
It is calm in the house. Younger boy is stuck to the computer. We ran out of bread and I did not want to go buy a loaf. Luckily hubby found a loaf in the freezer. I will not think about how old it is.
Tomorrow is another day of pondering life which is what I mostly do I think. Older boy just phoned with girl friend troubles. I don't know why men can't stay single until they are in their fifties.
Right now I am sooooo sleepy. All the medical details feel like burrs sticking to my head. I had to go eat cookies to keep motivated.
I feel for older boy but there is nothing I can do about the problems of love. It's hard enough to get to love much less deal with love problems. Younger boy is at least free of the women thing yet.
I have had three cups of tea in an effort to slog through 2014 medical trauma.
Trauma is all very disturbing.
It's very much like having flashbacks. I still remember one resuscitation event in her room where we were all outside the room while the EMS folks were working on her. One of the residents was so sweet and gave me a can of pop. It was all he had to give me for comfort. I miss him too but it's too late to visit him as he has passed away soon after I got banned from the Good Samaritan extended care at Millwoods. Isn't this important to remember? Say your love to those you love before they are lost to you in one way or another. I still miss that poor man. I only talked to him once in a while between successive medical crisis. He tried to help Rebecca.
It's so odd what memories come back to me as I read about the medical data. One day coming back to the facility Rebecca collapsed in the parking lot. I never thought that she had carbon dioxide narcosis --I just thought it was ordinary --as part of her life. In fact, things I took for granted were not actually ordinary--they were alarm bells and I was deaf--caught up in the day to day drama of events and being on call.
Sometimes I sit in my room and I wonder. Why is the world set up this way? Why do doctors yap about the problems of the system and not understand that they too are part of the problems of the system? Why are they oblivious to the harm that they do themselves? What in the end will solve these very human problems?
Public discourse is needed. We can't solve problems if we don't talk about them. Late at night I wonder why no one is talking about the problems families are facing throughout the continuing care system and the child welfare system. I wonder why the stakeholders are not part of government discourse. I wonder how any of these problems will be solved without the families present. I wonder why we--as citizens-- have become numb to the horrors. I wonder if we have all given up. Giving up is easy to do. It's doing the work day after day that is hard to do. It's doing the work decade after decade that is almost impossible to do. It's not quitting that is hardest.
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