Thursday, December 15, 2016

luck

Family life is complicated with illness and when you are confronted with several people with various illnesses it is hard to keep track of their difficulties and fit them into your own life. The most important part of juggling extended family and your own family commitments is to have a book with you to record conversations and note medical instructions. I have a file also where I put the relevant documents so I am not always looking for the past.  The visit to the Glenrose Hospital was useful and I have learned a bit so I can help my mum. We have a follow up appointment.

When you have various sick people it's easy to get burnt out.  To avoid this I concentrate usually on one person per day.  This week I have worked on mum and dad. I haven't had a chance to visit Rebecca to even take her the shampoo and toiletries I got for her.  This might happen tonight.

Since the parents are going on holidays soon I have to rejig some appointments with Dr. Hinz, Dr. Sholter and the Glenrose. It's a series of phone calls to be made today.  Then I take mum for more blood work to be done.  I go over the instructions that Dr. Lechelt  provided.

Meanwhile younger boy is up to his eyeballs in last minute work for school. He has an exam today as well.

Because we are all getting old and one day we will be at the places of fatigue, memory problems and physical ills of our parents it is simply commonsense to put away any resentment about the amount of life being consumed in taking care of them and focus on the experience of their aging. One day there will be a day when I will have to say goodbye. When that day comes, I won't feel as if I let them down or myself down by not being present for them. I was present. I did my best. I loved them as best I could.

Most families struggle with the problems of fitting in the needs of aging parents into our own family life. I am lucky in that I am not working outside the home. I am lucky in that my family is so understanding.  I am lucky that I am able to understand the medical tests and that I can navigate anything. I am lucky in that I am brave and face problems. I am lucky.  I have always been one of the lucky ones.


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