Wednesday, October 12, 2016

dandelion head

Usually because I fail at whatever I attempt in changing the world I have to give myself a pep talk now and then to keep going. Most mums I know are busy with their own stuff and don't do the blog posts that I do.  I guess the blog posts are my way of trying to change minds.  They don't work but that is fine. I figure that as I read, I can write about what I read and like a dandelion head I can shake my information free to seed other minds.

The pep talk I give myself is always the same. You failed. Big deal. Life is full of failing. The best part of failing is that you tried. When you try this means you aren't dead.

I know this isn't a very good pep talk but I use it often.

Most ordinary citizens accept things the way they are without questioning the way that things are. This is fine if they are happy with the way things are. I am not happy with the way things are so I write blog posts to try to change the way things are. This doesn't work but at least I have learned a great deal about the world while reading and writing.

In the end we are all going to die. It's a sad fact but true. What we do here is important I feel. Each of us have something to do in the world whether it be toiling at a grunt job or toiling in an important job.  The job itself is irrelevant. The cash returns are important because you may have a better life with the important job with big returns in cash.  No matter. The end point for all of us is tiredness, pain and death.

So while we are here it is useful to be doing work that answers something inside of us.  I don't know what my work is answering.  Maybe it is all a groping towards meaning.  In any case, in between being a drudge and a family resource person for all sick folks, I do the reading, the writing and publishing on this blog.  I try asking government questions. I write to the Office of the Information and Privacy Commissioner and make requests. I ask for data. I keep going. All the paper may amount to nothing in the end.  All the writing may be dandelion fluff in the wind.  All the energy spent in a writing room blowing time like coins in a slot machine may not win me any sort of return.  It may all be a mistake.  But I don't feel I need to quit. I tell myself my pep talk. I write something almost every day except when I am on holidays in Vancouver or elsewhere and I don't have a computer handy. I say the stories. And at the bottom of each jar of each story there is a bit of honey left. I eat that honey.  And I keep going.  As a dandelion head.
Image result for dandelion head seeding the world

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