I got up early today. Checking now on dad; he asks for cranberry juice. I don't have it. I tell him we only have apple juice. He will get cranberry juice the next time we shop. He goes on about the cranberry juice but I only have leftover cranberry juice at home and one container of apple juice as a back up. I don't want to make a special trip today. It's funny how persistent dad is about his specific diet. He never even had the cranberry juice before I got it for his infections. Well enough of this grumpy talk.
Helva is at the Freedom Ford place. The bill is very big. But I don't want to die and we will depend on Helva for transportation for the next 8 years at least.
I have almost done the laundry. It took a awhile. The floors were mopped casually. I am making BLTs for lunch. The watermelon is cut up and is dessert. I cut up half the watermelon yesterday and now the other half is done. It's useful to eat watermelon as it's low in calories I think. In any case, I am now buying fruit in small amounts as they cost a lot and we sometimes waste the fruit.
I was supposed to return the library books yesterday but it didn't get done. Grumpiness is not associated with productivity with me.
Thankfully right now taxes are done or at least I hope they are done without further work. I haven't found out if I did the taxes right. Sometimes I mess up. But so far no information on the status of my work. Older boy has taken over his tax work so that's a relief.
Older boy is going to Europe soon. I feel nervous about him going but there is nothing I can do to protect him from life. So I have to suck it up.
This is his first trip abroad. I still remember him as a small baby and I can't believe my small baby is now a man.
I miss my mum. I miss Sue. I miss so many dead people like my Aunty Daya in England. I miss them and I think about them here so maybe they are not really gone if I can remember them in my heart and in my writing. You are only dead when you aren't loved.
Sometimes I get tired of looking after dad and Rebecca. It is a burden. Then I know I have to remove myself for a bit from care taking. I have outsourced most of the work already. It's just that dad and Rebecca don't come without responsibilities such as estate management. I am not able to outsource the estate management and in addition, I have to work on this stuff over years. It is stuff that hangs over me like dark clouds. Yesterday hubby and I went for a walk. This helped me with the grumpiness.
I expect Helva will be done about 1 pm. I will get a Uber lift from Freedom Ford. The Uber thing is new to me. I feel sorry for the mostly POC who do this job to add to their income. I feel sorry for a lot of people.
I am very fortunate to have time to do the work required for the family. I just wish I didn't feel this is all such a PITA. I wish my parents had got rid of all the junk in their house instead of leaving it for me to dump.